You are hurt today and you’re aim is to finally forget about him/her and move on in a snap. I’m telling you if you this technique you would undergo depression and a whole lot of confusion. You will never attain peace in your life because the waves of painful memories haunts your brain especially when you are alone. You are never alone and one good thing you should do is to be determined enough to do the following steps for you to slowly yet surely get over a painful break-up a.) Control the urges – you want to contact your ex; for what? You’re only scaring him more away. Control yourself from emailing, texting, calling, meeting or anything that would pay a way for you to see or contact your ex. Respect yourself and respect your ex, he/she is also in the process of healing. Control yourself from the paranoia and accept that even if you’re not together you will be ok.
b.) Divert your attention – you can’t stop thinking of your ex if you wallow yourself from the grief. Do other things besides being inside the room and sinking at the memories, looking at pictures, emails and other things that would remind you of her/him. It’s over and it’s over for good! Just put it this way, there’s a reason why and in a few days you would get use with diverting your attention. Start a new hobby, learn meditation, meet friends, find support from your family.
c.) Take things at a time – you cannot get over a failed relationship in just a snap! You should take it a day in a time… feel the grief one day at a time; the beginning, middle and end. When you do this you’d feel the ultimate relief when you’re finally over it. Don’t use rebounds, that’s not good. You can go on a date or start putting profile in dating sites but don’t get involve in a relationship when you’re not ready or if you know that you are still mourning for the ex. You would end up in a broken relationship again and you would hurt yourself more and another person. You prolong the grief.
d.) Be insensitive about your ex – it doesn’t mean you have no pity. But be insensitive about negative things. If you keep on thinking and asking yourself where your ex, or is (s)he eating, who is (s)he with, is (s)he dating another girl/guy you are making your ex in control of you. You gave him or her power over you. It’s not good for your healing. You should learn how to be indifferent, to be insensitive about your ex. If you begin to think or ask about him, divert it to questions like what would I do tonight? Should I start crochet? What is my favorite sports, should I learn to do the guitar? Things about you makes you know more about you. Instead of thinking about the ex, think about yourself. Sure it would be difficult and awkward at first but with practice and patience it would become your second nature.
e.) Date out and pamper yourself – take your long lost friends out. Invite people that you forgotten because you were always with your ex 24/7. Spoil yourself with gifts and things or happy events that you never did before. Try new things with friends, go beach volleyball, bar hopping, shopping, dining. Anything is fine as long as you feel pampered. You would feel great and later you would realize that it’s better this way that being stuck in an intoxicating, energy sucking relationship. Warning: Don’t get involve in a relationship unless you are positive that you are healed or gotten over the relationship.
f.) Respect your limits – you should be able to know yourself. During break-up you think you’re are the most miserable person the whole world. But tell yourself that since from the start you’re alone; when you were in elementary, in highschool – you have no girlfriend/boyfriend. God made you as a whole and complete. Don’t think that you are incomplete without your ex. If one closes door, open your eyes for more doors. Be happy that it ended because her/his part of the story in your life has already ended. Acceptance is the key and follow above steps. Increase spiritually and don’t wallow with your grief, love yourself more. Learn to say NO to grief and start saying YES to your wellness. Remember too much loneliness is not good for your mental health as well as your physical health.
g.) Detach yourself from your ex - you should realize you need some time off. It's not working and it's over. Don't be available to your ex, if you're hurting then have fun and divert your attention. Don't let your ex contact you, be away for a while until your feelings stabilized.
Whatever you are undergoing right now, tell yourself that there are reasons and be open to more possibilities. Don’t isolate yourself and begin to think that when you start with your life you are alone. The only basic things we need to survive are food, shelter and clothe; not a partner. Don’t think you can’t be happy without a partner because you can. But if you really think you want him/her back, I recommend you to do the simple steps from HOW TO GET AN EX BACK book by John Hilare.
